I think Sendai-san has the right to ask.
And after what she did I should answer the question.
But,「why」cant I answer this question.
Id be more than happy to know why I did that.
「Miyagi, answer me.」
Silently urged, I peel off her hand that is stuck to my neck.
「Our mouths touched, but we didnt kiss.」
「I dont think my mouth would touch these places if I were normal.」
「The answer, you know the answer.
Its because you werent being normal.」
Sendai-san is right.
If things were normal, there is no way my lips would touch her sleeping neck.
However, I cannot explain my actions.
I didnt do it for any reason, and if there was a reason, it was somewhere I wasnt aware of it.
I close my textbook to escape Sendai-sans gaze.
Now, if I command,「Dont ask me any more questions,」I can force an end to this awkward moment.
「Im not doing anything more than that.
Are you convinced」
When I add without looking at Sendai-san as if I were making an excuse to the teacher, she tugs at the sleeve of my blouse.
When I tried to avert my eyes from looking at Sendai-san, whom I did not want to see, she looked at me very seriously and said she dont want to see me.
「How about now Do you want to touch me」
I dont understand why you decided to ask that.
And I dont know if she were satisfied with my answer.
She is still strange in her distance, she is still close to me and continues to hold the sleeve of my blouse.
I want to move away a little more, but the air is filled with the feeling that if I dont answer, the blouse wont let go.
「Is that an order to answer」
「Its Miyagi that gives the orders, isnt it This is just asking a question.」
「If I ask you to touch you, will you let me」
「Where do you want to touch it」
「Who said you cant ask a question until after youve answered it」
「Because it depends on Miyagis answer.」
She will let me touch her in some places.
I think thats what she mean.
I cant think straight, because Sendai-san always says things I wouldnt say.
If I say where.
Maybe she are just teasing me.
In the first place, do I want to touch Sendai-san now
Various things float around in my head and then disappear like bubbles in cider.
Fragments of memories pop up together, reminding me of Sendai-san, who was asleep in bed.
I also touched Sendai-sans lips that day.
Before touching her neck, I traced her lips with my fingertips, and they were soft like marshmallows.
I reach out to Sendai-san.
I didnt answer her question, but she didnt run away, as if my intentions were understood.
The sleeve of my blouse, which had been gripped, is released and my fingertips touch her lips without any obstruction.
I knew it, they are still soft.
With a light push, Sendai-san licked my fingers and I hastily withdrew my hand.
「Tell me what you want me to do.」
Sendai-san says in a slightly low voice.
But it is up to me to decide when and what I will order you to do.
It is not up to Sendai-san to decide.
Names are called strongly, as if to encourage them to give orders.
It is upsetting to be told and ordered to do something, and it is strange to be ordered to give an order to Sendai-san.
I think so, but I had to say it.
「…Your eyes, close it.」
If she knew what the order meant, shs would have complained.
But Sendai-san closed her eyes.
There was no way she could have known what would happen next, but she followed orders.
I touch her cheek.
There are her eyes, her nose, her mouth.
However, Sendai-san, who has a slightly better arrangement of those things than others, has a well-defined face, though not as well-developed as a model or an idol.
You can say that she is beautiful.
If it were true, Sendai-san would never come to my house, nor would she listen to my orders.
If we were in different classes like we are now, I would be forgotten and not even remembered.
I had no contact with her until I gave her 5,000 yen at the bookstore.
So this is something that should not have happened.
I could not understand why Mr.
Sendai closed her eyes.
If I approached her, she might open her eyes and laugh at me, wondering if I took her seriously.
I know Im not the kind of person who would do such a thing, but I cant wrap my head around the impossible situation.
Even so, my body is getting closer to Sendai-san
I found that the distance between our lips was less than five centimeters.
My heart aches.
I cant breathe in and out well.
I think I forgot how to breathe.
I touch the edge of her lips with the thumb of my hand on her cheek.
Sendai-san doesnt move.
I come a little closer and I close my eyes as well.
——Im not sure I can really touch you.
I pushed her shoulder, thinking that if I kissed her, Sendai-san might stop coming to this room.
You should go home today.」
Sendai-san opened her eyes.
I pull her hand, which she sounds surprised to hear, to stand up and let her carry her bag.
I open the door and push her back.
I dont know what is the right thing to do now, and I cant think of anything.
There may be a better way than asking them to leave, but I dont have the time to find that way right now.
Besides, I didnt want Sendai-san to see my face.
Dont look back, I want you to leave.
Sendai-san, who apparently had no intention of leaving without telling me, tried to turn around, but I forcefully took her out of the room and to the entrance.
Well be in touch again.」
Why, or, do we need to talk about it, or something
Sendai-san says a lot of things, but I cant get them into my head.
Anyway, I put on her shoes and kick her out the front door.
Open this up.」
I hear a knock on the door.
But I dont intend to open it.
If I open it, she will be absolutely furious.
Normally I would walk her downstairs, but today I cant.
On the other side of the door, Sendai-san is calling me.
Why did I try to kiss her
Why didnt I kiss her
Im not sure anymore and lean against the door.
A heavy thud echoes down my back.
Oh, I forgot to ask about the eraser.
I remembered that now.