I didnt come here in a hurry.
Still, I arrived earlier than usual.
One deep breath and I open the front door to find Miyagi waiting for me, and before I can close the door, she almost hands me 5,000 yen.
「I dont want it.
Im the one who called you.」
I usually receive it.
Thats the rule and thats the way its supposed to be.
But I push back the 5,000 yen bill and take off my shoes.
I tried to go straight to Miyagis room, but I cannot proceed because the owner of the room is standing on her knees.
「I pay because I wanted to call you, not because Sendai-san told me to.」
Miyagis mood seems to remain slanted when she returns home, and she says with a bored look on her face..
「Do you have any orders for me」
Miyagi replies in a muffled voice and thrusts out another 5,000 yen.
No matter how you look at it, its a no-brainer.
Still, I dont want to get into an argument over this or that and get kicked out again.
After receiving the 5,000 yen and putting it in his wallet, Miyagi, who had blocked the hallway, said,「Ill bring you some tea,」and headed for the kitchen.
I entered the room without waiting for Miyagi and put my bag down.
Then, after loosening my tie and unbuttoning my blouse, I sat down on the floor with my back against the bed.
I have been to Miyagis house many times, but today I feel uncomfortable.
Im not in the mood to read manga, and lying in bed waiting seems different.
I dont have a plan, and neither do she.
Although I have been enthusiastic about not being satisfied with Miyagis attempt to erase what happened in this room and our relationship and return to a clean slate, I have not been able to find the words to say what I need to say.
It has been less than a year since I started talking to Miyagi, but I think today is the day I dont know what to say most.
Exhaling a long, thin breath, Miyagi enters the room with two glasses on a tray and a small plate, which she usually does not bring.
「If you eat this…」
She says casually and puts a small plate on the table.
It was unusual.
Partly because I hadnt seen the sponge cake itself in so long, but also because it was unusual to see something to eat in this room.
The only things Miyagi serves here are cider and barley tea, of course.
「You didnt have lunch today, Sendai-san.
Im sure you deserved it.」
Youre being nice today.」
Its a waste to throw them away…… If you dont want to eat it, put it aside.」
Saying this, Miyagi sat on her bed without eating the sponge cake.
Im not sure if it was meant to be eaten with a fork, but there was a silver fork attached to the side of the sponge cake.
I use it to bring the elegant egg-colored pastry to my mouth.
The first bite was, fluffy and sweet.
The remaining coarse lime on the bottom is also crunchy and delicious, and I take another bite.
I drop a slice into my stomach and drink barley tea.
In fact, as Miyagi said, I missed lunch.
I didnt eat anything after school either because I turned down Uminas invitation and came here without making a stop.
But I think it is the same for Miyagi.
「Youre not going to eat」
「Ive already eaten.」
Miyagi utters words that may or may not be true and dangles her feet in boredom. She looked bored and restless with nothing to do.
I think I am misbehaving and lightly stab her leg with my fork a short distance away.
The swaying feet stop and resentful eyes turn to me.
「Do you want me to lick it for you」
「You dont have to lick it.
I decide what to order you to do.」
Miyagi, alarmed by me, pulls my legs up onto the bed and holds my knees.
「Dont ever talk to me at school again.」
「Was that an order」
Miyagi does not answer.
She remains silent and removes her gaze from me.
I walk up to Miyagi and pick at the edge of her spread skirt.
But the hand is quickly swept away and a slightly lower voice is heard.
「Today, Sendai-san made me feel terrible.」
Miyagi continues her talk, whether it was an order or not.
「Sendai-san comes to the classroom, and Maika and the others ask a lot of questions about why.
When I got back, he was so curious about what I wanted, it was hard.」
「What did you answer」
「I told them Sendai-san asked me to lend her some money.」
「Its a lie.
You told me that the teacher told you it was calling me in the staff room and I went straight to the staff room.
They had their doubts.」
Well, yes, I guess so.
It would be strange if they were not interested in the fact that a person with whom she had no previous contact came and took her away.
「Its too much trouble.
Dont call me up again.」
With that said, Miyagi gets off the bed and sits down a little further away.
「Isnt it kind of far」
「Because Sendai-san does strange things.」
You always do weird things, Miyagi.」
I correct the disgraceful language.
The weird things dont happen without orders.
It would be fine if Miyagi did not start saying crazy things, and it is wrong to blame me.
But she didnt seem to think so.
「I dont want Sendai-san to tell me that.
You tried to turn up my skirt just now.」
「You just pulled it off.
Miyagi, all you do is deny it.」
「Thats because Sendai-san says all kinds of things that make you want to deny it.
What is it today, anyway Sendai-san, you are different from usual.
You talk too much.」
I am certainly talkative.
The room was supposed to be comfortable, but for some reason, I was running my mouth to fool myself into thinking that it didnt feel right today.
Its like when I was having trouble adjusting to this room, and I want to keep talking so the silence doesnt last.
But its not just me.
「Thats my line.
Miyagi is the one who talks a lot today.」
Its not every day that Miyagi reports what happened at school without asking.
In the first place, she usually doesnt offer me sweets, nor does she pay attention to me.
Today is just different.
That word fits perfectly.
「I didnt talk that much.」
Miyagi says with a scowl and brings her bag.
Then she took something out from inside and pressed it against me.
「I know you came to get this.
I told you at school Id give it to you.」
Miyagi says in an exasperated voice.
She roughly thrust out her hand and found an eraser that she had returned from school.
I grab her wrist, not the eraser.
Miyagi looked surprised but I touched the finger holding the eraser with my lips and licked it.
The slightly cold finger tastes neither blood nor potato chips.
I pressed my tongue hard against it and the eraser fell to the floor.
Miyagi moved her hand to stroke my cheek and quickly let go.
「Stop that kind of thing.」
The hand holding her wrist is shaken off and I am pressed on the forehead.
「Miyagi doesnt give orders very easily.」
「If I order you to leave, will you leave」
「If thats an order.」
The rules are absolute and I abide by them.
But Miyagi does not give such orders.
If she really wanted me to leave, she would have turned me away like the other day without bringing up hypotheticals.
「……Sendai-san is sly.」
Miyagi mumbles in her mouth.
「If you think its not fair, why dont you just say what you really want me to do」
「Theres nothing I really want you to do.」
「If you have nothing to do, Ill give you back 5,000 yen.」
「I dont want to.」
「Then order me to do it.
Because thats what you promised.」
We are not alike, but we are similar.
I dont like the term “school caste,” but if I were to classify myself in such a way, I would be at the top.
If I look at her more closely, shes probably closer to the bottom of that list.
Miyagi does not appear to be the lowest, but it is not the highest either.
Both I, who am standing around trying not to fall off the top, and Miyagi, who is staying in a position not to fall down, are the same in that we are in the middle of the pack.
And we want a convenient partner.
I get from Miyagi a place where I can settle down where I am not at home, and Miyagi gets me to do whatever she says.
It is not surprising that both parties would be interested in such a partner.
——I clench my hands tightly.
This is not a very straightforward way of thinking.
Once, I have the answer.
Im trying to come up with some logic, but simply put, I want to kiss Miyagi, and I want to see what happens if I do.
Right here, right now.
「You know what to order me to do.」
Approach Miyagi, who is a short distance away.
Then she uttered words different from the other day.
「Do it, Sendai-san.」
What will I do now
The decision is hers.
But having no veto power, I have only one answer.
I lean towards Miyagi and combs her hair.
Her shoulder-length hair is black and silky.
I puts my hand on her cheek and slowly brings her face closer to mine.
But Miyagi and I continued to exchange glances.
「Close your eyes.」
「Sendai-san shut up.
Ill close it whenever I want, so shut it.」
I would say that we are not lovers and dont need an atmosphere, but there is no mood.
However, it can be said to be typical of Miyagi.
Since I have no choice, I leave it to Miyagi to decide when to close my eyes and bring my face close to hers.
When I approached her at a fair distance, thinking it would be difficult to do, Miyagi closed her eyes as if to escape from my eyes.
I think that part is cute.
I want to watch her a little longer, but I close my eyes too.
Then, I touched Miyagis lips.
The heartbeat is not so fast.
I am nervous.
The sensation coming from my lips is very vivid.
It was soft, and warm.
I am not sure if I am holding my breath or not, but I feel very close to Miyagi, in person.
I didnt taste it.
In the first place, it would be hard to kiss someone enough to taste them in the first place.
I look at Miyagi but does not make eye contact.
I would like to do it again.
I will close the distance with Miyagi.
I grab her by the shoulders and bring her face close to mine once more, and she pushes me back.
「Still going to do it」
I hear a grumpy voice.
「I told Miyagi to do it, didnt I」
「I didnt ask you to do it twice.」
「Miyagi is such a miser.」
I complain and crawls my hand up Miyagis neck.
The body heat being transmitted is higher than usual.
「Give me one more order.」
Miyagi looks overtly displeased.
After a short pause, however, she quietly apologized.
「Do it again.」
As I leaned closer to the voice I heard, I could easily close the distance that separated us.
Soon the space between us was gone and we kissed a second time.
I didnt notice it the first time, but I think this feels good.
Heat flowed in from where we touched each other, and my body moved as if a switch had been flipped, and my tongue crawled over my lips.
Our body temperatures mingle more than when touched by fingers, blurring the boundaries between each other.
Miyagis lips open thinly and her breath escapes.
I hear a muffled voice mixed in, and the inside of my ears start to buzz.
Miyagis hand grabs my vest.
More, I want more.
I want to touch inside Miyagi.
I part my slightly open lips and try to sneak my tongue in, but it was refused.
I bit my lip in protest and she pushed my body as hard as she could.
「I didnt say you could go that far.」
「A kiss is a kiss, right」
「Anyway, you dont have to do it anymore.」
Miyagi pishily and moves away from me a little bit.
「What are you going to do, after this」
Without making eye contact, Miyagi says, and throws a box of tissues with an alligator cover on it.
「What do you mean」
「This is just so awkward.」
Miyagi is not my girlfriend, and in her words, not my friend.
It was not without awkwardness that she had kissed such a person.
But nothing should change.
I dont think a kiss would soften Miyagis attitude.
She will continue to complain in words that grow several spines with a twang anyway, and she wont be nice about it.
If she suddenly start talking to me in a friendly way, thats more uncomfortable.
Maybe something will change, but I dont know until it does, so I guess it will just be what it will be.
「Sendai-san is smart, yet stupid.」
Miyagi says with a sigh.
「Ill admit that Im stupid, but Im not smart.」
If I was smart, I could meet my parents expectations.
I would have gone to a different high school and never met Miyagi.
「I said its only awkward at first.」
I say irresponsibly and lie down on the bed.
Miyagi is fine the way it is, and if she keep doing what she have been doing, thats all that matters.
「Keep calling me.
「Ill call you without being told.
Dont order me to do it.」
Miyagi stands up with a miffed look on her face and brings the manga.
Then she sipped her cider.
I kissed her and found out that I like Miyagi enough to barge into her house, call her up at school, and make her give orders.
I surprisingly like it myself.
I dont intend to tell her, though.